Operation big girl - close call

Day 9 without Eve's pacifier. Yesterday she finally had a nap without it. Progress.

I must confess that on day 7 I almost caved. It had been 1 week without her pacifier, and sleep had been elusive for both of us, especially for me, since due to her cough, I had spend the majority of nights rocking her. I felt like I had a newborn again. That night I tried to go to bed at 8:00 - but my internal clock wouldn't cooperate, so I got up and spent some time with my husband her I don't see that often. Later that night, as I began to drift off to sleep, Eve cired out. She wasn't really awake, just really loud and incoherent and definately on her way to waking the other girls up again. I quieted her by rocking her, then put her back in her bed. Then as soon as I was almost asleep, she would cry out again. We did this for an hou and it was torture. I told Andrew, "I can't take this anymore, I don't care about the sousou addiction - I need sleep". There was no response from him, he was asleep ( see - everyone gets to sleep except me!). I could feel the volcano of frustration gaining pressure inside me, threatening to erupt. But what form would the eruption take - violence, tears, screaming. I didn't want to find out. Eve's wailing began to get even louder - my whole body cringed and I cracked. I went directly for the pacifier on the top shelf of the bathroom. "Just try and stop me" I said to my sleeping husband, "this is the only answer, I can't take it anymore". I walked into Eve's room, she was still crying. The sousou felt cold in my hand - like a revolver that is to shoot a silver bullet - the silver bullet of sleep.

Just as I got near Eve's bed, she stopped wailing. She is quiet. I am shaking. I whisper" Do you need your sousou". No response. She is asleep.

She slept for the rest of the night.
That is as close as they come.